


Rebirth

by Tamystardust



Series: Knighted [1]
Category: Kingsman (Movies)
Genre: Implied Harry Hart | Galahad/Gary "Eggsy" Unwin, M/M, Multi, Panic Attacks, Self-Harm, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-23
Updated: 2016-10-23
Packaged: 2018-08-24 05:40:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,202
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8359366
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tamystardust/pseuds/Tamystardust
Summary: When Merlin had call him, Eggsy could feel something was wrong.Eggsy doesn't understand. So he doesn't know how to deal with it.Until he does.





	

**Author's Note:**

> It is my first fanfiction that I post here, as well as the first one in English, which is not my first language, but you can tell while reading it.  
> I wrote it a while ago, I am still not even really in the fandom anymore, but it meant something to me, because it was the first thing I wrote in years.  
> Anyway, I am sorry about all the mistakes. They are all mine.

“Eggsy, could you come in my office, please ?”

When Merlin, the new Arthur, had call him, Eggsy could feel something was wrong. The man seemed to be short-breathed. Eggsy wasn’t really happy about that, a fucking migraine starting to pound in his head.

Without knocking, Eggsy stepped into the room, where Merlin was sitting, speaking with Roxy, standing up in front of him. They had both an indefinable look on their face.  
Roxy turned towards, right between him and Merlin. She let her hands fall from her hips, and straighten herself.

She was going to speak, even opened her mouth. Finally, she let her breath out, and shifted to let Merlin in his sight. The tech gave her a look, and finally closed his eyes. Standing up, he positioned himself in front of Eggsy.

“Look, son… Something came up, something weird, we don’t know for sure – Percival is there to check, you know –“ Merlin started, but Eggsy cut him out.  
“No, I don’t. What are you talking about ? You haven’t even told me yet what it was all about.”

Merlin looked hurt, uncomfortable. He was going to talk when Roxy spoke.

“Galahad – Harry, might be alive. Merlin received an alert. Percival went to check himself. Nothing is sure for know, but – yeah. Harry might be alive.”

Eggsy didn’t expect this. Like, at all.  
The migraine suddenly turned to the worst. His ears started ringing like a fucking alarm, and he began to feel a numbness in his neck and shoulders. Nausea was also beginning to make its way down his throat. Saliva filled his mouth. He closed his eyes briefly.  
Pain came into his jaw, closing it to swallow down everything that might come out of him.

When he reopened his eyes, a coldness had filled his lambs, he couldn’t feel his extremities, like his toes or his fingers. He swallowed again, and nodded slowly.  
Everything happened in seconds.  
Roxy was going to speak again, but it’s Merlin that cut her out this time.

“Listen, Eggsy. I konw it’s hard to understand, and I don’t want you to up your expectations. It might be a false alert, and I don’t want you to go down this path again, ok ? We prefer for you to know, because we don’t want any secrets with our agents, even if it’s not true.”

The fuck he didn’t care. What the hell Merlin was talking about?! Why was he saying him that? Was it to cool down his own culpability?! To justify the improbability, madness, stupidity, pain, frustration, destruction of this news? 

Bullshit.

Eggsy expired. He felt the air getting out with a tremble. Not from pain.  
He nodded again, and turned around, leaving the office. 

He walked, without even noticing, towards the bullet train, got inside, and let himself fall on the seat.  
He took a deep breath again, trying to calm down his tremors. He closed his eyes, let his chin fall on his chest. This time, he opened his mouth, letting more air getting in and out of his lungs. His ears kept ringing, throbbing in his head. The migraine was getting intolerable, descending in his teeth, his jaw, behind his eyes, tightening his neck. The pain almost made him throwing up.  
His heart was pumping so hard, trembling. He realized his whole body was trembling. He put a hand in front of his eyes. The feelings came by waves. They were getting more and more paralyzing.  
He lifted his head, freeing the airway, opened widely his eyes, looking straight into the light.  
He was fighting so hard. So hard. Against himself. For himself. It was so hard.

His heart finally came back to a normal rhythm.  
He took a deep breath, who caught in his throat. No time to think about that, he just arrived in the tailor shop now.

Getting out of the shop was easy, he knew the way by heart. He climbed in one of the Kingsman’s cabs, and gave instructions to the driver. Even tried to clear his head during the drive.

Finally arriving at his place, thanking any gods for this, he opened the door.  
But no. He wasn’t at his place.  
He was at Harry’s.

The entryway was in deep dark, all curtains closed. Nothing had moved. Just a thin layer of dust.

And then Eggsy was letting himself slide against the door, putting his head between his knees, to chase away the abominable pain clawing in his body. He couldn’t even feel his heart this time, he was pounding so hard. He felt hot, burning up, but still not feeling his extremities. Like his body couldn’t answer to everything that was happening within him.  
Eggsy’s lungs couldn’t give him enough air this time, and it was starting to spin around him.

He was so restless, his body trembling like it was cold, even if he was burning. So Eggsy started moving, to give his body the movement it was begging for. He started pacing around, making big movements with his arms, moving them around, trying to untie his body. By inadvertence, he punched a lamp. The sound it made when crashing on the floor startled him.

And then he started doing it with everything he could reach. Throwing frames with the butterflies, breaking mirrors, crushing the dishes in porcelain with his bare hands.  
Pushing the chairs, kicking the buffet.  
Ripping the blankets.

And then. And then, Eggsy threw himself against a wall. Hitting his fists against it. Beating his head against it. Eyes crushed, hoping to stop the pain in his head. In his chest. In his body.  
He hit his head a second time. A third. He can feel something warm running on his face, in his neck, from his head, his eyes, his fists, down his arms, his chest, on the floor.

Eggsy swallowed again. He realized his heart is still beating hard, but from exertion. It is actually calming. He turned himself, back on the wall, sliding against it. He feels better since a very long time. He took a deep breath, ran over his face. He stopped crying, but kept bleeding. Good. Whatever.

Standing up, he left the house, closing the door behind him. 

 

When they saw him, they all panicked.

“What the hell, what happened?!” Roxy asked him, eyes wide.  
“Nothing, I was a bit clumsy yesterday, I opened a cupboard from a wrong angle.” Eggsy even gave her his lovely smile.  
She took a deep breath, and also gave him a smile. The hug was tight, but nothing more than usual. She was a strong lady.

“Come on lad, what happened?”, Merlin asked him, looking at him directly in the eyes.  
“I told you. It was a simple accident. What do you want me to say Merlin? If it can reassure you, you should see the cupboard. He won’t forget about it!” Eggsy answered jokingly.  
Roxy giggled behind him, Eggsy winked at her.  
Merlin’s face wasn’t laughing. But what else that could be?  
Come on! It can’t be nothing else than an accident. 

Any other possibility wasn’t even conceivable.

Yes. Of course it was an accident, no one was strong enough anymore to beat Eggsy like that.  
No, no one.

**Author's Note:**

> Feel free to leave a comment.


End file.
